My tribute to Grandma

On 16 June, my beloved Grandmother died. It came on top of what was already a very long and stressful week. Below is the tribute I wrote about her and delivered at her funeral yesterday.

Grandma

Hello everyone. I'm Kevin Field. I am the privileged oldest grandchild and I had Grandma all to myself for three and a half years. When I was a wee boy, I often wondered what people thought about this tall woman, striding rapidly into town with a gaggle of grandchildren struggling to keep up. For some reason, this thought stayed with me till I was a young adult and was put into perspective when I heard second hand, a quote from Don when walking with Barbara, "Slow down, you're not walking with your mother now".

I walked many places with Grandma. It would be the river side of Fitzgerald Ave if going to Cleveland Street or as most expeditions were, into town. We would normally visit the Farmers department store which always used to have the delicious smell of roast cashew and peanuts wafting through the store. Sometimes Grandma would even buy some roast cashews if I was really lucky. Sometimes there were hurried trips across town to Ballantyne's because a certain grandchild needed to go to the toilet and Ballantyne's was the only place he would go. No demands that this toilet is good enough, she just did it. That was Grandma. Even as a young fella, I thought she was kindest grandmother you could ever have. It seemed to me that during the regular visits to the Fitzgerald Ave house, we would be asking Grandma if we could take home any number of trinkets that we had discovered in the house or shed. And she would normally say yes.

Staying over at Grandma and Granddad's was special. There were National Geographic's for Africa - many about Africa; plenty to explore and always breakfast in bed. Toast and marmalade and the sweetest, nicest tea. Somehow, the way she made it was just the way I liked it. And there were always scones on Sunday for when more of the family gathered.

There were never any favourites with Grandma - we were all treated the same and that was with kindness. She was non-judgemental, even when the older grandchildren struggled to play Christmas day cricket with the younger grandchildren because they had headaches or if they turned up at Fitzgerald Ave with bleached hair.

The last time I saw Grandma was on 23 February and unlike 4 September, where Grandma was quite philosophical about her potential fate that day and was more concerned with the new dinner arrangements, she was worried about her Christchurch family and whether they were all right. I was pleased to be able to deliver that news.

I realise the last few months of her life were a bit confusing after moving first to Nelson and then to Wellington, but I am pleased the Wellington family had the chance to be with her and to spend time with her.

And even though her health deteriorated in her 90's, she still got to meet and get to know her seven great-grandchildren. I am pleased she was able to watch them at her house as they went about their routines, doing such things as scrubbing the bird bath, picking up apples or chasing the cat. I'm also grateful they got to know her as well.

So thank you Grandma. While I'm sad to say goodbye to you today, I'm happy to have had you in my life and that it was you who was that rock in my life.

One last thing. Ballantyne's had small children's toilets and that's why I had to go there.

Stress

It was probably the most obvious news of the year. The front page of The Press with a story that Christchurch residents, according to a Southern Cross Healthcare Group survey, were the most stressed in the country. There were a number of other categories such as the amount of alcohol drunk per region, the amount of fruit and vegetables eaten and the number of residents who smoked. Ironically Christchurch residents were the most satisfied with the amount of sleep they got per night. Even more remarkable considering that the vast majority of Christchurch people would have been awake when this morning's edition of The Press was on the printing presses thanks to a 3:00 am 5.3 wakeup call.

The stress that people are suffering goes way beyond just anxiety over aftershocks. There are the normal things such as job losses, business failures, money worries but there are also the other stresses with the damage and losses of homes, dealing with insurance companies and EQC, the loss of the central city and the worry that there may be more to come. Not to mention the suspicion that the Christchurch rebuild is only going to satisfy politicians and won't reflect anything that residents want to see.

For many people, the stress is so over and above what they would normally experience, that they are displaying symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome. And often it is people who fall into the category of a "strong person". It's as if an earthquake is too far out of their area of control that coping with them becomes difficult. You can't blame anyone for feeling this way because of the terrifying and unpredictable nature of earthquakes are fertile pasture for feelings of fear and anxiety.

Some of the methods of dealing with stress are simple. One of the best ones is breathing. Often during aftershocks that is the first thing that people forget to do and they end up hyperventilating whereas what is required is slow, measured breaths. Other techniques are going through a small routine of checking everything and everyone is all right, listening to soothing music, putting on a favourite item of clothing or accessory or just going to your happy place.

Even though this survey pointed out the bleeding obvious, it also suggests that if this is a regular survey that some of the categories may change, but Christchurch people are going to be the most stressed New Zealanders for a while to come.

Christchurch Ideas

Since the first earthquake on 4 September, the term "Christchurch Rebuild" has been used quite liberally by both the media and local politicians. Following the first earthquake it seemed a little ludicrous to describe repairing the damage and demolishing about 90 buildings within the four avenues could be called rebuilding Christchurch, as the vast majority of the buildings in that area were perfectly fine. A better question would have been "What would be prudent to do with this vacant area?". An even better question would have been "Should we move a little west?". The debate around these questions became irrelevant on 22 February.

That was when those questions tool on real relevance. Many buildings completely collapsed, terrible loss of life. The Minister of Earthquakes being quoted on his preference to tear down many of these older buildings. The shutdown of the CBD and the eeriness of the pictures and videos showing badly damaged and deserted streets of a place we all knew so well. The reality that what was there will no longer be there. This was not limited to old brick buildings, but many so-called modern buildings. Many of these will have to go. A few hotels, the BDO Spicer building down Victoria Street, the Clarendon Towers and the now infamous Grand Chancellor.

So it is now a given that there will be mass rebuilding, but before any grand plans are drawn up, there are a few facts that need to be considered. One is a lot of people will not go back into the CBD let alone a high rise building. Another is that no matter what the politicians say, the actual CBD of Christchurch has already marched west into Addington, Riccarton and Hornby. Many of those business are likely to stay there for the foreseeable future. It is also possible that the planners will have to think that Christchurch will be the first city in New Zealand to have a "old town" quarter, much like many European cities. With that in mind, will it be better to design around that idea? As events since the February earthquake have illustrated, it's entirely possible that what was central Christchurch may become one of the more eastern parts of the city if suburbs such as Burwood, Dallington, Shirley and Bexley become deserted.

What should central Christchurch look like? Should any ideas of attracting businesses be abandoned and design more along the lines of Oxford Street and the West End in London? Should there be some more concise acknowledgement of the history of the city? Why not have a French Quarter of the city much like New Orleans. The French did after all, have history in Canterbury. And while we're at it, what would Maori architects come up with if they had to design a Maori Quarter to acknowledge the original settlers of the area? An area similar to the West End? A retail triangle with Ballantynes as the centre and covering High Street, Cashel Street and parts of Colombo Street?

Whatever happens with this design, Christchurch residents need to put their hands up and contribute. Christchurch has that rare luxury in cities that there is plenty of space, in fact, it's the only major New Zealand that can shift inland a bit. So while it's pretty much rest assured that iconic structures such as the Cathedral and the Arts Centre will be rebuilt, those gaps in the city blocks will need to reflect not only the best way to rebuild in earthquake damaged areas, but also to start a new heritage.

Our Favourite Places

People who live in cities have them. Their favourite places. Might be a favourite shop. Might be a favourite cafe. Might be a favourite venue. Might be a favourite pub. Tonight in Christchurch, many people's favourite pub was demolished.

To be fair anyone who saw The Carlton following the 22 February earthquake would have thought it was only a matter of time before it was demolished. There was a gaping hole on the east side wall. There were also braces holding up the south side wall. The future didn't look rosy for The Carlton. However, this was where New Zealand's first tap beer was poured. It had occupied the same spot for over 105 years, which by New Zealand standards, is an exceptionally long time. It also introduced that much beloved pub feature, the beer garden to New Zealand. The first drive through bottle store was also at The Carlton.

To anyone who has lived in Christchurch, they would know The Carlton. It stood on the corner of Bealey Ave and Papanui Road like a sentinel. It has always looked welcoming. It is the pub that has had probably more regulars than any other New Zealand pub. There were groups of old men who had met there every Friday for drinks since their student days. For a while there you could see bands playing there until it was restored back to the original building. Just about anyone who has ever been to a pub in Christchurch, would have spent time in The Carlton. Many people are going to mourn the passing of this part of the city.

Regretfully, the demolition of The Carlton, only re-emphasises the point that this is only one of many favoured places in Christchurch that will face the wrecking ball. All but one of the churches within the four avenues have either been destroyed or badly damaged. To put it in some context, compared to the rest of the churches, the Cathedral got off lightly. There are other buildings around Christchurch that haven't survived such as the ANZ building on the corner of High Street and Lichfield street which was completely destroyed during the earthquake. Buildings further down High Street have had significant damage and it seems unlikely they will survive. Much of Manchester Street and Colombo Street have been demolished already. Many people's favourite restaurants were in these areas.

In the end, it's all brick and mortar. It can be rebuilt. What can't be rebuilt are the lives that have been lost or shattered by the earthquake. But as people start looking for signs of normality, the news that some of those favourite places have moved to new premises, brings an elation beyond what could normally be expected. In the last week, I have seen Scorpio Books, the best bookshop in the city, getting ready to re-open down Riccarton Road - just down the road from my place. The Children's Bookshop is re-opening down Blenheim Road at Blenheim Square and it's looking increasingly likely that Alice in Videoland will be re-opening soon. And while it doesn't sound like much, the survival of those favourite places in a city where everything is anything but normal, is just the tonic to spur the population on.

Alarms, Sirens and Choppers at Dawn

In the last few days, Radio New Zealand released audio of a Christchurch reporter Bridget Mills, conducting an interview with someone in Libya. She all of a sudden exclaims "Big earthquake", with "Shit" thrown in a few times. Almost amazingly, she had the presence of mind to come back to the phone to apologise for the abrupt end to the interview. We listened to this at work and then to some of the initial reports from the Radio New Zealand website. Listening to those initial reports on the ground brought a lot of it back for me.

The initial thing for me straight after the earthquake was the chorus of alarms. It seemed that every building in the city's alarm was activated. It was briefly eclipsed by the rumble of the severe aftershock about 15 minutes after the main quake and the screams of people standing around, not sure what to do next. Many of those reports had those alarms going in the background.

As people left the central city, there were more sounds to remind us all that all was not well. There were more sirens than normal and more helicopters. Later on in the afternoon while walking the dog, I saw a helicopter flying very low over the Riccarton Mall. Almost as if it was doing a spot check from the air, looking for anything with obvious damage. Early the next morning a new sound that we all started to get used to - Iroquois helicopters flying low over the city. Iroquois have a very distinctive sound compared to other helicopters so it wasn't hard to tell when one was around. In fact Christchurch residents could be forgiven for mistaking Christchurch as the scene of a Vietnam War movie, that was how often they were flying around.

Sounds trigger memories and for many people, they are going to be transported back to that day every time they hear a building alarm.

The Role of Sport for a Disaster Zone

One of the most inspiring stories from last year was the Superbowl victory for the New Orleans Saints. Unless you were under a rock for the last few years, practically everyone on the planet within earshot of a radio would have been aware of the devastation wrought on New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina. There was a quote from Drew Brees, the New Orleans quarterback. "We just believed in ourselves and we knew that we had an entire city and maybe an entire country behind us," said Brees, the game's MVP. "What can I say? I tried to imagine what this moment would be like for a long time, and it's better than expected." Try the entire world behind you Drew. Not only were the Saints the underdogs, but many people around the world wanted something special for residents of New Orleans.

Remember the Rugby World Cup in 1995. The All Blacks ruled supreme for the initial parts of the tournament but came unstuck in the final against the hosts. Now it could be argued that food poisoning had its role, but that would be insulting to the host nation, who played like it wasn't just a rugby game, but a symbol of the new South Africa. A nation prepared to embrace all of its citizens. In truth, though it hurt as a New Zealander, it was far more important for South Africa as a nation to win and to show the world, Francois Pienaar holding aloft the trophy with a jubilant Nelson Mandela applauding in the background. In New Zealand, it would have just been an empty cup, to quote Doc Hudson.

So exactly five weeks on from the Christchurch earthquake, Canterbury people have something to look at and cheer for. Although they haven't played in Christchurch yet, or will for the remainder of the season, the Crusaders are putting a big smile on our faces. Not only are they winning, they are winning in style. There is even talk of them being the greatest Super Rugby side ever. They have just played the Sharks in London and have been exciting not only the home fans, but the expat population and even the Northern Hemisphere media.

Add to that the Black Caps bundling out the Cricket World Cup favourites unexpectedly and now through to the semi finals where they play Sri Lanka tonight, then you can have many things to smile about. Especially as they have been written off already by Cricinfo. They have already done better than expected and anything more they do will be awesome.

So how does having a winning team help people in a disaster zone? It's not going to help people build homes or save businesses. It's not going to help rebuild infrastructure or even more poignantly, bring back loved ones. But it will provide a distraction and a happy one at that. And even though many Christchurch people will not see the Crusaders play this year, they will provide a boost to morale, which is extremely low at the moment. So while we grapple with what has become our new normal, we can pause and appreciate that our team is doing its part in our regions recovery. That is inspiring for us all.